Introduction
Why are some topics shrouded in silence, their weighty presence felt but never openly discussed? How does this culture of silence perpetuate the cycle of harassment and victimisation? As we delve into today's subject matter—sexual harassment—I invite you to ponder these critical questions. This issue is not merely a whisper in dimly lit corners; it is a
silent storm that is both ferocious and invisible, affecting countless women worldwide.
Many of us grew up in environments where certain words were not just unspoken; they were virtually non-existent in our vocabulary. Phrases like "sexual harassment" and "rape" were either taboo or considered too rare or insignificant to discuss. I, for example, spent my formative years in all-girls schools that upheld strong Christian values, places where such topics were conspicuously absent.
So, what happens when we find ourselves confronted with this unspoken reality? Today, I share my story, not just as a healing exercise for myself, but as a narrative that could mirror the experiences of numerous women globally. Even with access to the right vocabulary and platforms, breaking the silence remains a daunting task. Is it societal norms that silence survivors, compelling them to shoulder the burden of an unwelcome secret?
I always considered myself a vocal and opinionated individual, unafraid to do what feels right for me. Yet, even I found myself mute in the face of sexual harassment. Can we really claim to be silenced if we are not even aware that our voices are being stifled?
This is more than just my story; it is a conversation that we all need to be a part of. In this two-part series, we aim to break the silence that shrouds this damaging cycle. Today's instalment unravels both personal experiences and the systemic issues that perpetuate this culture of silence. The forthcoming part will focus on changing the narrative around sexual harassment.
Together, we can disrupt the status quo and transform this silent chorus into a resounding roar. Stay with me as we navigate this complex landscape. The conversation starts now.
Have you ever encountered topics that are almost 'forbidden' to discuss openly?
Unveiling the Silent Chorus: My Journey and the Untold Stories of Countless Women Worldwide
The University Experience: The Unspoken 'Sex-for-Grades' Maze
Universities can be sanctuaries for some and battlegrounds for others. This narrative is not confined to my experiences but echoes the silent maze navigated by countless women in educational institutions globally.
I stepped into university life full of excitement and anticipation. Sitting beside men who were not relatives was a novel experience, yet comfortable, thanks to my close bonds with my brothers. But the maze soon became murky. I found myself victim to a professor's advances, and when I refused, my grades suffered—turning a once-loved course into a source of dread.
As if this were not enough, my final year brought a new challenge: a supervisor who made sexual advances and then withheld vital support for my dissertation. Grading my dissertation became a battle of wills; I would slide my work under his office door, and he would insist that I take it to his home. I graduated, but not without a fight, and only after the intervention of the vice chancellor and my lecturer brother.
Why did I remain silent? Perhaps it was an internalised fear of blame, the dread that my lipstick, shorts, trousers, and high heels would be seen as an 'invitation' for harassment.
Did your university experience include confronting unspoken issues like 'sex-for-grades'? How can educational institutions better address this hidden dilemma?
Facing Glass Walls: The Unseen Entry-Level Barriers Experienced by Women in the Labour Market
Why are women expected to "dress the part" yet not be part of the bigger picture? Despite identical qualifications, achievements, and capabilities, why do women confront invisible barriers as they enter their careers? These barriers extend from coercive 'sex-for-grades' schemes in universities to manipulative 'carpet interviews' in the job market, where sexual favours are implicitly or explicitly demanded.
Post-graduation, I had job offers aplenty—from the Agricultural Policy Secretariat of the Central Bank to the Ministry of Finance. Yet, each opportunity was marred by invisible barriers. My skirt was criticised for being too short in one office, as if the length of fabric could measure my capabilities. In another, inappropriate touching made the environment too intrusive and unbearable.
These experiences made me reject the formal labour market. While my friends and guardians branded me as 'spoilt', they were blind to my rebellious refusal to conform to oppressive norms. Misunderstood and mislabelled, I channelled my defiance into a quest for empowerment. This led to the creation of Every Woman magazine and a Master's degree in Gender Studies. A personal rebellion that evolved into an educational pursuit to dismantle patriarchy.
Why do so many women find themselves gazing at these glass walls, unable to step into the professional sphere? Where does personal choice end and societal coercion begin? How many brilliant minds have forsaken their dreams due to these invisible barriers? How does the culture of silence on sexual harassment affect the broader community, beyond just the victims? What responsibilities do we have as individuals to address this issue?
As we move forward, ponder these questions. This is not just my narrative but a collective outcry that demands collective action. Only united can we transform this silent chorus into a resounding roar.
The Unspoken Reality: Beyond Personal Experience
Sexual Harassment Unpacked
Sexual harassment goes beyond uncomfortable comments or advances. It is any form of unwelcome sexual behaviour that leaves someone—most often women—feeling humiliated, degraded, or threatened. It is not merely a 'women's issue'; it weakens social bonds and trust within the community, affecting us all.
While men experience sexual harassment, the rates are significantly lower compared to women. To put it in perspective, a 2020 study on African newsrooms found that 56% of women experienced verbal harassment, compared to 24% of men. When it came to physical harassment, the numbers were 38% for women and 15% for men. Please read more.
What misconceptions did you have about sexual harassment before reading this section? How has your understanding changed?
The Cultural Veil
Whether it is enforced silence or societal norms that quieten survivors, the issue of sexual harassment is often buried and unspoken. In some cultures, young women and girls are raised with values that, perhaps unintentionally, shield the abuser rather than the abused. This culture of silence is a wound crying out for attention and healing. Sometimes, the language itself serves to trivialise and legitimise sexual harassment, as seen in South Asia's term 'eve-teasing'. This euphemistic language serves to trivialise the issue and, worse, legitimise it. By framing women’s presence in public spaces as provocative, it shifts the blame onto them, effectively normalising violence against women and girls. Read more about Eve Teasing and Girls' Harassment.
How do cultural norms in your community contribute to the silence around sexual harassment? What can be done to challenge these norms?
The Shame Game: A Survivor's Perspective
Why does society shift the blame onto survivors of sexual harassment? This skewed narrative perpetuates a cycle of silence and causes emotional and psychological damage to survivors.
Let us break down how this shame game works:
Blaming: Survivors who wear certain types of clothing often find themselves under scrutiny, as if their attire somehow invited harassment. This not only stifles the voices of survivors but also provides a free pass to harassers. For more insight, refer to research on Victim Blaming and Responsibilisation.
Social Stigma: After coming forward, survivors frequently report being ostracised or marginalised within their own communities or social circles. This adds another layer of isolation and trauma. For a deeper understanding, consult this academic journal.
Institutional Gaslighting: It is not uncommon for institutions to downplay or outright deny allegations, making survivors question the validity of their own experiences. For further reading, consider this article on institutional gaslighting.
Media Sensationalism:When media outlets focus on lurid details instead of the systemic issues at hand, they perpetuate the cycle of shame and may deter other survivors from coming forward. For an in-depth look, read this analysis on #MeToo and media coverage.
Peer Pressure and Cyberbullying: Particularly among younger populations, survivors often face online shaming or bullying after sharing their experiences, adding another dimension to the complex issue of sexual harassment. For more, check out this research on Bullying, Cyberbullying, and Suicide.
Concluding Reflections
The silent storm of sexual harassment is a pervasive issue that knows no bounds, affecting countless women in educational institutions, workplaces, and beyond. These stories are more than individual experiences; they are symptomatic of a systemic issue sustained by cultural norms, language, and media portrayal. Yet, each story is also a compelling cry for change. The fight against sexual harassment is not confined to a feminist agenda; it is a pressing human rights issue that calls for collective action and awareness. As we seek to dismantle the barriers of silence, we must also build bridges of understanding and compassion. This is a societal challenge that demands a collective solution. Thank you for engaging in this vital conversation, for it marks the first step in transforming this silent storm into a resounding roar, thereby upholding the dignity and safety of every individual. The time for that roaring change is now.
Join the Conversation!
The stories of sexual harassment are many, and each one is a cry for change. We must tear down the walls of silence and build bridges of understanding and compassion. The fight against sexual harassment is not just a feminist issue; it is a human rights issue. Together, we can create a world where the dignity and safety of every individual are upheld.
Reflect on: Have you or someone you know experienced sexual harassment? What was the emotional impact? Have you ever felt the weight of silence? Have you witnessed its power to shape lives and seal fates?
Consider: What actions can we each take to shift the narrative around sexual harassment?
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About the Author
Nite Tanzarn is an Independent International Consultant who has earned recognition for her passion for promoting gender equality and women's rights. In this post, she delves into the often-unspoken realities of sexual harassment, sharing both her own experiences and the bigger picture. Nite writes with a sense of authenticity and in a way that everyone can relate to, showing her deep commitment to social justice and making life better for women everywhere. She does not just talk the talk; she also walks the walk. Her consultancy work spans multiple sectors, including transport, agriculture, and rural development, all with the aim of elevating women's rights and inspiring collective action for a more equitable future.
We talk in whispers about sexual harassment and other societal ills. We need to SPEAK UP!
It must have been hard for you to write this article, but am proud the courage it took u .
Keep writing until u sustain that inner freedom.
Believe me you are on a journey of the real u and am sure you will love her as u go along.
Thank you Nite for addressing the elephant in the room. We need to continue to talk about this issue again and again so that one day our children and other generations to come can experience freedom. It is a long healing journey and if only we can say "enough is enough"..."see something; say something" and to look survivors in the face and say "I believe you".
Awesome post
We should always support women in all different ways.